Grand Officers in Brattleboro

Grand Officers in Brattleboro, hosted by Bingham Chapter #30 and Mayflower Chapter #19

The day started early for this traveler as Nancy and I left the house to pick Sister Jerri and Sister Cheryl on our way to Brattleboro. Yes the fog was thick, but the spirits were high as we traveled south. Sister Jerri was dropped off at 9:30 for an early meeting and Cheryl, Nancy and I headed off to explore towns in the area we had not been to before. I was the driver and Sister Nancy the navigator; Sister Cheryl our rookie explorer was excited to join in the journey.

Well I have to add that the Vermont State Map of Roads and Attractions is good for only four of the five seasons here in Vermont. . . . not MUD Season! As we traveled toward Halifax we found ourselves on Jacksonville Stage Road (clearly marked as a paved road on the map) . . . oh nay nay! This was not the case, never mind that we ignored the sign the “ROAD CLOSED TO THRU TRAFFIC” “RESIDENTS ONLY”

For the next 20 minutes, we were in the middle of the worst muddy, rutty road I have ever seen . . . no place to turn around, and when there was; we were already committed! (We should have been committed!) Thanks for a higher power and a Subaru . . . I will say that it is trip that will NEVER be forgotten. I’ll leave out the part that included a wilderness rest stop.

Sister Cheryl was in tears, as she was laughing so hard. Sister Nancy and I looked at each other as to say, “How are we going to top this adventure?” It was a great trip and I was glad we could share it with a credible witness! I’ll turn the blog over to Sister Nancy to tell you all about the rest of the day!

Well, we returned to civilization by way of Irene damaged, but well repaired Route 9. The incredible power of water was still evident. Finally back in Brattleboro we changed and mingled for a bit. Then I watched as the buffet table was loaded with delicious dishes of all kinds! There were baked beans, ham, scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole, and several kinds of salads. Yum! The meal was finished off with ice cream and cookies. No one would go hungry.

The dining room was then transformed into a theater with members from Bingham and Mayflower performing a brief play.

A dragon, a police officer, a wizard and a dragonfly kept us entertained with a search for the perfect motor cycle for Worthy Grand Patron, Richard. "Yes we believe in dragons".

No kilt for Jody Boyd on this St Patrick's Day but he looked good as a dragon!

Another room transition occurred and we were set for an open meeting. Highlights of the afternoon included the four precious children who attended with their parents. Such well-behaved little ones! Their young mom is an Eastern Star!

Grand Officers were presented including Past Grand Matron Gladys Baker who is all set to turn 92 shortly. She spoke on behalf of the Past Grands and shared a little story about the trouble Noah would have building an ark in these modern times:

IN THE YEAR 2006, THE LORD CAME DOWN TO NOAH, WHO WAS NOW LIVING IN THE UNITED STATES AND SAID:

"ONCE AGAIN THE EARTH HAS BECOME WICKED AND OVER-POPULATED, AND I SEE THE END OF ALL FLESH BEFORE ME".

"BUILD ANOTHER ARK AND SAVE TWO OF EVERY LIVING THING, ALONG WITH A FEW GOOD HUMANS".

HE GAVE NOAH THE BLUEPRINTS SAYING, YOU HAVE SIX MONTHS TO BUILD THE ARK BEFORE I WILL START THE UNENDING RAIN FOR 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS.

SIX MONTHS LATER, THE LOORD LOOKED DOWN AND SAW NOAH WEEPING IN HIS YARD... BUT NO MARK.
"NOAH" HE ROARED,
"I AM ABOUT TO START THE RAIN..... WHERE'S THE ARK"? "FORGIVE ME LORD",
BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED:.

I NEED A BUILDING PERMIT. I'VE BEEN ARGUING WITH THE BUILDING INSPECTER
ABOUT THE NEED FOR A SPRINKLER SYSTEM. MY NEIGHBORS CLAIM THAT I'VE VIOLATED THE NEIGHBORHOOD ZONING LAWS BY BUILDING THE ARK IN MY YARD EXCEEDING THE HEIGHT LIMITATIONS. WE HAD TO GO TO THE DEVELOPMENT APPEALS BOARD FOR A DECISION. THEN THE DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION DEMANDED A BOND BE POSTED FOR THE FUTURE COSTS OF MOVING POWER LINES AND OVERHEAD OBSTRUCTIONS, TO CLEAR THE PASSAGE FOR THE ARK'S MOVE TO SEA. I TOLD THEM THAT THE SEA WOULD BE COMING TO US, BUT THEY WOULD HEAR
NOTHING OF IT.

GETTING THE WOOD WAS ANOTHER PROBLEM. THERE'S A BAN ON CUTTING LOCAL TREES TO SAVE THE SPOTTED OWL.
I TRIED TO CONVINCE THE ENVIROMENTALISTS THAT I NEEDED THE WOOD TO SAVE THE OWLS, BUT NO GO.WHEN I STARTED GATHERING THE ANIMALS; I GOT SUED BY THE ANIMAL RIGHTS GROUP. THEY INSISTED THAT I WAS CONFINING WILD ANIMALS AGAINST THEIR WILL. AS WELL THEY AGRUED THE ACCOMODATIONS WERE TOO RESTRISTIVE AND WAS CRUEL AND INHUMANE TO PUT SO MANY ANIMALS IN A CONFINED SPACE.

THEN THE EPA, RULED THAT I COULDN'T BUILD UNTIL THEY CONDUCTED AN ENVIROMENTAL IMPACTSTUDY ON YOUR PROPOSED FLOOD. I AM STILL TRYING TO RESOLVE A COMPLAINT WITH THE HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION ON HOW MANY MINORITIES I'M SUPPOSED TO HIRE FOR MY BUILDING CREW. ALSO, THE TRADE UNIONS SAY THAT I CAN'T USE MY SONS. THEY INSIST I HIRE ONLY UNION WORKERS WITH ARK BUILDING EXPERIENCE.

TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, THE IRS SEIZED ALL MY ASSETS, CLAIMING I'M TRYING TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY ILLEGALLY WITH ENDANGERED SPECIES. SO, FORGIVE ME LORD, BUT IT WOULD TAKE ME AT LEAST TEN YEARSFOR ME TO FINISH THIS ARK.

SUDDENLY, THE SKIES CLEARED, THE SUN BEGAN TO SHINE, AND A RAINBOW STRETCHED ACROSS THE SKY.

NOAH LOOKED UP IN WOONDER AND ASKED, "YOU MEAN, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD?"

"NO, SAID THE LORD. THE GOVERNMENT BEAT ME TO IT".

- author unknown

Grand Adah, Marie Perry, shared her favorite quote by Eleanor Roosevelt "“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”

53 people were in attendance on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon. The collection for the special project: Vermont National guard Charitable Foundation was $75.

A meeting on St. Patrick's Day wouldn't be complete without an Irish blessing, shared by Brother Dan, "May your kilt be short enough to dance a jig and long enough to cover your lucky charms".

Remember the next entertainment of Grand Officers is tomorrow, March 18, 2012 in Arlington: Grand Officers - Arlington Red Mountain Chapter #41.

Don’t forget the final visit on March 31^st in Bellows Falls Grand Officers - Bellows Falls Alpha Chapter #53.